rawly | [locked against CLF & those in the Society]

[well, there's something she didn't see coming. She wants to ask how, but she has a feeling it wasn't old age, and that's enough. she's quiet for a moment before she scribbles]

Thank you for letting us know.

[she's not sure she can say much more than that because it's all questions she's not sure she can answer. but ... she will be contacting Damon momentarily]

[and that is surprising though it shouldn't be really. Sonny hadn't realized Bela knew either of them, had a connection to Josef]

You're welcome.

[And there's really nothing to say at all, much as he would like to.]

[it actually takes her hours to reply. there's shock, but--Elizabeth's entry now makes sense, and she wants to kick herself for not getting it earlier.]

Both

but I just talked

Okay.

[jrekl;ajrekljr;ea ;_; Phoebe :c]

I'm so sorry.

Do you know if anyone has thoughts to arrange a funeral and maybe a mass?

I can do that if no one else does. She would've liked that.

~~Are you o~~

I don't think so but ~~you shouldn't do it alo~~ I would pay for it and help you how ever you needed. You should find someone to help you plan. I never really knew her. I knew Josef and knew of her through him. He loved her a lot.

And if there's anything else I can do.

That's okay. Really. I'd want to. She was my friend and I know she loved him, too.

There might be something. I'd go to the Crowbar since I think it's something we should talk about face to face.

And thank you. For everything.

Okay. That's good that you're doing that.

We'd be happy to have you even if there's nothing. Try to think of it as a safe place. I know you've got no fuckin reason to trust me, but it's there for anything.

[fwaugh yeah and he can't say you're welcome ._. jrkl;ea it doesn't feel right to. ;;]

[Lena is staying over at the Crowbar tonight.

She's quiet and somber, for the most part, a terrible sadness that reaches beyond it even when things like these happen. She sees the entry written by Sonny, it always is him in some way or another, and she gives him time to himself.

But at some point, she'll be making her way over to his office with dinner in toe.

Probably the wee hours of the morning, but she knows he'd have forgotten dinner.]

Sonny?

[Sonny appreciates her staying over. He is on edge, because it was a message.

Even if they didn't know they were going after them, it is clear that the Society is ready and willing to kill at this point to find what they are looking for. And now they know. Their eliminating team was killed. They know someone was working with Josef now.

They don't know who but they'll know and they'll feel the pressure, and Sonny feels the pressure. And it's just good tonight to have the whole family under the same roof because Lucky would have stayed over too.

Sonny looks up from the desk when he sees her, somehow not surprised that it's her there. He did forget dinner, yes, and he isn't even aware of how late/early it is. Sonny sits back, stretching in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face.]

Hey. [Slight pause.] You can come in.

[he's not doing anything but pouring over this second clue, wondering if he'll have to call in two teens again to figure out how to use it and trying to figure out every angle, how to protect this place better, what else he can do.

He has to do something else, something other than tearing someone apart, blood and broken bones and torn skin and no fucking answers.]

Edited 2011-09-26 08:44 (UTC)

[Lena hasn't let herself feel the pressure.

Her focus is on taking care of him and whoever else needs it, and she knows Sonny will be worrying about it enough for the rest of them. She knew what she was getting into the moment she agreed to stay on board, but it is never easy to feel the rammifications of it.

And she knows that Sonny cared about Josef, which makes it harder all around.

She gives him the slightest of smiles as she steps in, balancing the tray.]

It's only a grilled cheese sandwich this time, but I brought some of your favorite chips too, just in case.

[She didn't want to take too much time in the kitchen, and he needs to eat and be with his family and not--not think endlessly about whatever happened tonight.

Lena hasn't asked.]

[It's for the best. The pressure doesn't make him any better at what he's doing, and he's half afraid that it'll just make him slip up instead.

Sonny is just grateful to have them all under one roof for tonight. After he works through the lingering feelings from today, it'll be easier to let people out of his sight. Overbearing. Who him?

He smiles, just slightly back at her. It's worn, sad but sincere in its appreciation. He never forgets that he almost lost her, and he will never not let his family in anymore unless he's... far gone.]

Thank you. I don't... need a lot.

I didn't [think about it, but she knows that and it's why she's bringing him this.]</small. Thanks. Are you okay?

Edited 2011-09-27 00:11 (UTC)

[A smile is better than no smile at all. It's okay that it's sad. People need to feel the sadness. When something like this happens, it needs to be felt, and anything else would be a betrayal to the people that were lost.]

Sure you do. You're a big dude.

[Lena moves over to him and sets the tray in front of him. It's a grilled cheese sandwich with a bag of chips beside it and his favorite soda.

She sits on the arm rest of the chair and places her own arm around his shoulder, giving him a brief one-armed hug, setting her chin on top of his head.]

I'm okay. I'm sad, but I'd rather be sad. [People die all the time. That's only truer in a place like Chicago, with the lives they lead. People lose their minds. Violence like that becomes so routine one is almost desensitized, so when it hurts--she would rather that it hurt.]

Are you?

[It's a wonder to him that after all this time, he still does feel something. Granted, it's more when he knows the person, but he won't hate that.

He smirks a little at the 'big dude' thing. Sonny is pretty sure that she is the only one who would ever call him that.]

I more meant I didn't... need anything fancy.

[He lets out a long breath when she sits on the arm rest. Sonny slides an arm around her too, glancing down at the top of the desk but not looking at what is on it for once.

Sonny knows what she means about rather being sad. He would prefer it for her too. It's easy to... not let things like this affect you at all anymore.] I'd rather that too.

[Speaking of people who are young, who have had to go through hell here at a young age, he slides a hand over his face.]

I'm tired. [And angry and sadness is possibly buried under all the rest.] But I could be worse.

[She will feel mildly triumphant at the sight of that smirk, small as it may be.]

Oh. Well, it's not my fault you aren't more specific, isn't it?

[Lena will still nudge the plate toward him, and she'll be pleased with anything he eats. She wraps her arms tighter around his shoulders and hugs him for a moment, before drawing back once he speaks again.]

I'd be tired if I was you, too.

I'd probably be even more tired, if I'm honest. [It never seems to stop, and he always has to be on top of everything.

She doubts she's feeling half the pressure he does, being in charge of the family, in charge of the Crowbar, in charge of so many things now.

And with Josef gone... well, one less ally.]

That's something. You should try getting rest once you're finished here. Even if it's just a couple of hours. I know you'd want to be at your most alert, right? So... sleeping would be a good thing.

It's a biological need, I've heard.

[She always has that ability with him to get im to smirk or to smile, more than anyone else he's ever known.]

No, it's not your fault at all. I'll remember in the future to be more specific with my... [he waves a hand in the air] words.

[Sonny looks down at the plate when she nudges it, and he smirks just a little more before shifting and reaching to take a bite of it. It's funny how even with food right in front of him, he can still be completely distracted from it. He hugs her back with one arm, just as tigtly.

Some have died, but she remains, his family remains, alive.]

I think just about anyone would be.

I think we all are. But if we didn't go back into this case, they would have come anyway through anyone that's ever been close to that artifact, for the whole fucking city. [And their half of the family deserves justice after all this time.

It doesn't mean it's not hard. It doesn't mean there aren't times when he'd wonder what it'd be like to just lay down, if he'd ever get up if he ever really did stop.

They're only fleeting emotions, and he does stop, he has to. He's demon but he still needs to sleep sometime, and he always gets up, and it's for her, for his family, for himself too. He needs to see this through. He needs to see them happy, not in danger, see her happy, see her have the more time that she has.

Bought at an incredibly painful price.]

I will. I would hate for you to get on my case so I'll try. [Another slight smirk, and she has a point but it's hard for him to sleep even when he's exhausted.

He's thinking of other things he can do, other things he can check.]

Maybe I'm still trying to convince you that I'm a bat. [He remembers her saying something like that to him before.]

[BAW ;; I love themmmmmm.]

I'd appreciate it. However, nothing I said was untrue. You are a big dude, so you'll need food, even if it's nothing special. Now, this was made by yours truly, and you know how resistant I am to the kitchen at times.

... So be flattered or something.

[And she nudges him again so that he will at least make as if he is flattered, as Lena would think this is flattering.

She'll also be relieved he's eating. It's the little things, really, and considering there's nothing else she can do to make things better, she'll take it.]

It's good to keep that in mind. We'd have had to deal with them anyway. At least this way, we're less unprepared than we would've been otherwise.

[And then, quieter:] We knew it was going to get worse before it could ever get better.

[None of them are so delusional they believed for one moment lives might not be at stake or no one would get caught in the crossfire.] You would. You would not know what to do with yourself if I did fully get on your cause so, you know, might want to avoid that.

[She smiles at him a little, and it turns into a small laugh.]

Your commitment to proving that is kind of admirable. I'm not going to believe you're a bat, I'm afraid. Just good ol' Sonny.

[;___; I LOVE THEM MORE.]

Yes, you were very truthful. I'm a big dude. I'm... a dude. [And that's possibly the only time in his whole life that he's ever called himself that. LMFAO. He's smirking and shaking his head.] You've got no fuckin' clue how flattered I am.

I mean seriously. Just... amber fuckin' waves of so fuckin' flattered.

[The amber waves part comes in when she nudges him. Look at how good at listening he is, BAW. But no, he is going to be that much more appreciative of all his family tonight. ._.

But he is eating, partially because he knows it'll make her feel better, partially because beneath all that sick-feeling, he's hungry. He is a big dude.]

Yeah, no matter what choices we have or had made. There was no escaping this, not for... Josef either. [Not with his uncle, not with the artifacts that they bot have.

And he releases a breath in agreement.] Yeah, we did. This is the worse.

[And it might get worse than this. There's no way of seeing what might lie ahead.] I'd probably just try hiding from you, but somehow I don't get the feeling that would work.

[He smirks tho it widens just a bit when she laughs.]

Thanks.

I haven't given up hope yet. Maybe 'just good ol' Sonny' is actually a bat. Maybe I've got an entry way to a cave in my closet.

[/DIES Sonny.

your exhaustion makes you talk loopy, but it's kind of cute cause he's usually too bad ass for this.]

[NO YOU DON'T ;___; :|]

I am going to be burning this moment into my brain for all of posterity. [She says it dramatically too, and drapes herself over the arm of his chair equally dramatically, as if Sonny saying dude and being flattered is that much of a momentous occasion.

And maybe it is.

Or maybe she's just trying to keep with the loopy and smirking and distracting him.

Maybe it's a combination of both these things.]

No, definitely not with the kind of family he had. Reminds me of my blood family some. With his uncle knee-deep in that, perfectly positioning himself to be the mole, there's no telling what they knew.

[And who knows what Josef wasn't saying? They trusted each other as much as they can trust associates, and there was caring there, but if Josef believed something wasn't Society-related, he wouldn't cough up to it.

They might never really know.]

And it might go on for a while, but just remember we're here and we love you and we're going to do our very best to protect each other.

[It's not enough, maybe it never would be, but it's what they have.]

Nope. I'm exceedingly good at finding things, and they do say that finders are keepers, so then I'd just keep you.

[Lena smirks back at him, nudging him a little.]

But then you'd also need a butler.

Or are you telling me Gates has been the butler this whole time?

[LMFAO, it's totally cute, okay. Be more loopy, Sonny.]

[SO DO ;_; :|]

You go ahead with that burning. Don't let me stop you. [Sonny smirks sideways at her, and then he actually (HOLY MOTHER OF GOD) laughs when she drapes herself over all dramatic like.

It's not loud laughter. It's quiet, something heavy underlying it, but it is laughter.

It is a pretty momentous occasion.

And he feels a little less heavy if only for the moment.]

Yeah, I'm... glad you got away from that family.

But there is no way to know thoug I'll look. [it's hard to imagine what she would be like if she hadn't fallen through the Rift when she did, if her dad hadn't taken her in the first place.

And he never expected full trust from Josef as Josef never expected it from him which is part of why it worked, he thinks, but Sonny didn't want anything not-Society related like he wouldn't give Josef anything not related to the Society.

It's how you play your cards when you're in stakes this high, when you've got stakes at all in this city. Information is power, is money.]

I'll remember it, and I know there's no one better that I can count on when it comes to protecting all of you. [All of them. They're the best protectors of each other that he could have.

It's how love is a strength when so many call it a weakness.

He rolls his eyes but he's smirking still.]

Yeah, figured it'd go something like that.

[It is how Lena would roll.]

...yeah, he has been. Got it in one.

Just don't tell him that as I think he'd likely fucking tear down a wall before he knocked my head off.

[Sonny says if it makes him cute then he doesn't want to be loopy. 8|]

[NEVER :| :| :| ;_;]

I wouldn't let you. Nothing could stop me. I an unstoppable. [SHE IS EVEN MORE PLEASED WITH THE SOUND OF THE LAUGHTER, QUIET THOUGH IT MAY BE.

It's even further of a victory, though she knows it half has to do with the loopy tiredness.

It doesn't matter, since she will take it.]

We'll look. It's nothing you have to do on your own, remember?

I know why you'd want us to be as safe as possible, and it's why we're honestly taking all necessary precautions, but we're not letting you go into this thing by yourself.

[Certainly not with the alliance Josef left them which, sorry to say, she doesn't like or trust much, either.

Sonny will always feel responsible for them, but they work as a team.

It's going to be gnawing at them until they find out one way or another.]

There really isn't. We're already working on tightening up the security even further. Never hurts to go up a notch. Already coordinating rounds and patrols and things we can do, even if it's as simple as knowing who'll be taking more shifts and when.

We'll find a way somehow.

[Lena really, really wants to remain positive, and she knows the others want to as well, but they need that reminder, and that belief from each other.

She snorts softly at the thought of Gates as the butler.]

I would not tell a soul. We can keep the secret.

[She pauses.

Speaking of which.

Lena's still resting in the arm chair, and her voice is almost thoughtful.]

If I told you something no one else was supposed to know, something that's supposed to remain secret, secret, you'd promise not to tell anyone, right?

... It's not a bad thing, by the way. Before you worry.

[FOREVER :| :| :| ;_;]

You are. If there is anyone I've ever met who could be unstoppable, it would be you. [HEY, even if it is partly from loopy tiredness, there really is no one else that makes him laugh or smile as much as she does.

So it is a victory, a victory of Lena's.

There's a slight pause at what she says. Yes, there's forever the desire to protect everyone else especially the ones who have a lot of life to live still, a lot of promise for the life in front of them. He wants them to have everything they want family, houses of their own, adventures that don't have so much death and destruction in it.

It's a helpless thing, but he nods knowing it won't be any toher way. They won't let it be any other way, and it wouldn't be right of him to try to make it that way.]

We'll look.

Yeah, I remember.

I can't help... wanting it, okay? You can't blame me for that.

[It's very hard to remain positive, but it's important. It's important to be both realistic but positive, because the negativity could overwhelm them all.

And then they'd have no chance.]

We will.

We have to.

[She's gained more time, and e wants her to have that. He wants John to have that too, more than he can say.

He smirks at the sound of her laughter.]

Thank you. I knew you were the best secret creeper.

[Sonny pauses too.

He glances up at her, tilting his head thoughtfully.

And then he laughs when she says it's not a bad thing since that's the first thing that his mind goes to.]

Whether it was a bad thing or it wasn't, I would keep your secret from everyone else.

Whatever it was.

[Sonny rests his hand against her arm gently, giving her a light squeeze of reassurance.

~~AND THEY ARE SO CUTE jrkel;areja; wai~~] You have my word.

[GIRL :| :| :| :| :| :| :|]

You are just full of flattery today, aren't you? I'd wonder if you were a pod!Sonny if what you were saying wasn't just so damn true.

[She is smirking, as she does not genuinely think so highly of herself.

It's just really, really nice to see that he can smile and he can eat when he's nudged toward it and he's trying, despite the very horrible things she is sure that he saw and felt throughout the entirety of tonight.

Lena can't picture it. If she tries, she feels sick.

So being here with him like this is reassuring, and it keeps the rest away.]

I don't blame you for it. I can't, or I'd be a hypocrite.

In my ideal world, I'd keep you all under lock and key forever in this bar as we made an underground world for ourselves in the basement and there would be no need whatsoever to go outside.

[But that's not living.

She would love to protect them from the bad, but there's also the understanding that by doing so, she would also be protecting them from the good.

And there's still a lot of good in Chicago.

Life doesn't stop.

Even if you sometimes feel as if it should.

It should when something so unspeakable has happened.]

I am!

Sometimes. When it comes to life and death things and this would surely constitute life and death.

[Gates never has to know.]

Okay. I trust that that's true or I wouldn't tell you, but I know we all often jump to the worst conclusion and this is not.

This is the opposite of the worst conclusion.

[~~THEY ARE THE CUTEST, augh. I can't. ;;~~

She takes a deep breath and can't stop the small, almost helpless smile that spreads across her face as she grabs at the chain around her neck to lift it up from her shirt.

He'll know before she's even said, as the beautiful ring dangles from the chain, glinting against the soft light of the lamp.]

Lucky asked me to marry him.

[dealwithit.gif. :x]

It is completely true, and hey, I can give flattery. Sometimes. When it's true and I feel like it.

[And he's loopy, but no, he believes everything that he is saying. Even in his flattery.

However, he can. Somehow. It's not always going to be something he can do, no matter how much he's prodded, but he promised John when he'd shut everyone out before and he promised himself when Lena and he-- they started mending their relationship again, something he thought was impossible- He promised himself that he would always try to let his family in.

To not lock his door.

As long as it was within him to try, as he could get the energy to try and even some times when he couldn't.]

That is absolutely the ideal world, bu we don't live in that world.

And if we were all locked up in the basement, you'd miss the sunshine along with everything else that goes on up here.

[But he's smiling a little since he knows that she knows that.

Sonny could be relatively okay locked up like that with all of them, but he basically does that as is. However, he would miss actually running the business and miss reaching contacts and having meetings and having people come to him for help or with help.

Other than that though, he doesn't get out much and would be comfortable with it but he knows her and how she likes to travel, how they all like to get outside, smell the roses.

Take a moment to breathe it in.

It wouldn't work, but there are times when he'd like to do that too. In an ideal world.]

This does constitute life and death here.

And many other things are on the line so it's an important secret to keep.

[The most important. >>]

Okay, I like that for a change. I like that it's the opposite of a worst conclusion because in tis city, it' sthe worst ones that tend to be true.

[~~SERIOUSLY ;_; rjkel;arj;la CANNOT~~

Sonny looks up at er as she takes a deep breath followed by that smile. He knows it's big before she's even said it, and he'd half thought she was talking about something that would end up being silly

Or nothing quite so big as whatever it is. And he does know the moment that she takes the ring out from where it's been hidden. Sonny stares, and it hits him.

He is immediately filled with happiness, beyond what should be possible on a night like this after everything that has happened and everything that has been lost and how the stakes have increased.]

That... explains a whole fuckin' lot.

[Sonny had noticed a change in them. Something that went beyond words, he understands now and he tugs her from the arm rest, pushes himself to his feet, and wraps his arms around her hugging her tight.

He's so happy that his eyes are actually burning with tears. He's so fucking happy for her, because he knows she never thought it was a possibility for herself. They talked about this before, about a dream she had where he was walking her down the aisle.

And neither of them thought it would ever become reality, her walking down that aisle.]

Congratulations. [He can't even joke for a moment, because it fills him and it fills him whole.

And what a terrible cost it was to buy her more time, to buy this future, but it was worth it.

It was worth it knowing what waits her, what she always has deserved but never thought she could have. And he's still hugging her tightly.] I'm so happy for you. [He's so happy. Period. This deep kind of happiness that reaches beyond all the rest.

She's his daughter, and she's getting married to someone who will love and protect and cherish her and love her like she deserves.]

Edited 2011-10-05 09:12 (UTC)

[:x]

I'm still going to be basking in the moment. It's not impossible no, but the probabilities are always so slim.

[Lena knows the difference.

She knows the difference between Sonny locking his door and Sonny trying to leave it open, both literally and figuratively. She is aware of the fact it takes effort and she both appreciates and is grateful to him for it. They all have those moments where it's difficult.

But so much has happened, with all of them but between Lena and Sonny especially, that they aren't really going to let distance create itself at a time like this one.

It'd be the worst thing any of them could do, and she has no intention of shutting anyone out, either.]

No, we live in the opposite of an ideal world. But... I think I like it better. Whenever I think of ideal I think of that black and white movie where everyone's eerily happy and it's all 1950s Stepford Wives and everything is always fine.

Technicolor clusterfucked worlds are better, in the end.

[She would not deprive any of them of that.

There's a lot to fear in a city and a world like this one, but there's also so much that's wonderful. Even the Rift itself can throw out something completely amazing and to miss out on something like that because you wanted to keep yourself and others safe...

Well, it's not really living.

And she does know that, too.]

I know. I'd say we're fatalists since we usually do jump to the worst conclusion, but it's hardly fatalism when it turns out that the worst conclusion is often the right one.

But... no. This is very much the opposite.

[And it's because they had that conversation so long ago, almost a year ago really, when she still thought she'd have such little time, that she would want him to be the first to know, at least with her being the one to say it.

Usually, Lena would've built the suspense to end it with something extremely silly and casual, like having eaten the last slice of Lou's key lime pie.

This is not one of those times.

There is happiness and nerves, the good kind, but there is also a quiet and calm nature to it. Both because the decision has never made more sense to her and because of everything that happened tonight.]

We hadn't really wanted to say anything until the smoke clears and things settle down again, but I'd been wanting to tell you.

It's not going to happen for a while, but it is going to happen.

[The smile brightens and deepens all at once and she goes where he tugs, sliding her arms around his middle and hugging him back tightly.

She laughs a little, dazed and tearful and nods against him, tightening her hug briefly.]

Thank you. It really means a lot to me.

[There are other things she has to say, and she will want him to be the one walking her down the aisle, but those things can wait, they don't have to be spoken of in a night like this one.

Not after what he lost and what it cost him.

But it's her way of saying she has something she is looking forward to, something she will want to live to see through, and she will be extra careful, and she wants him being extra careful, too.

Since she can't imagine him not being there.

Lena smiles into his shoulder and takes a deep breath, thinking back to that very same cost. The guilt and the terribleness of it that will never fully leave her whenever she thinks back to it.

What it took and what it also cost, but despite all of that, she can't regret it, either.

Not when it led her here.

It was a terrible, terrible cost and that's exactly why Lena will make sure it never goes to waste.

Not even for one moment.]

[Cassie stares at this for a long time. It takes a while for it to sink in and she doesn't know what to say. No.

Through the tears, she hurriedly scribbles:]

I don't understand

I spoke to her yesterday and she was

What happened?!

Edited 2011-09-27 00:39 (UTC)

[FWAUGH jrkel;a Cassie.

Sonny does not even know how to describe what happened, bu he'll try to do it gently while still saying the truth.]

I'm very sorry.

She was killed. The people who did so did not get away with it.

Edited 2011-09-27 01:37 (UTC)

[It's a small blessing that they didn't. But Elizabeth's still... gone.

After a long while, she carefully writes:]

Were people with her in the end?

She and Josef weren't alone?

She wasn't alone.

Neither of them were alone, and they died together which I think is what they wanted over the alternative.

[Cassie is glad of this. Really.]

Thank you.

I'm glad about that.

[locked against CLF & those in the Society]

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